OH MY GOD
fenrir-shaka: fxckyeeaahh: lokinatasha: nolifeonafridaynight: IT SHAKES WHEN YOU DO ALT+CLICK TO REBLOG NOW. IT. SHAKES. LIKE A VOLCANO READY TO ERUPT. LIKE PIKACHU PREPARING TO ATTACK. LIKE A SMALL CHILD GETTING A SHIVER IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. IT JUMPS OUT OF MY SCREEN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT None of this has ever worked for me….. it just doesn’t work.
hetaculture: ask-cosplay-lovina: romanorgasm: seborgasm: would-your-panties-drop-if-i: tangoingwithmango: thisrealityhere: gingerrlocks: riflesandroadhouses: joshfransexyy: butthurtbandboys: australia gets christmas before america but american gets freedom before everyone but canada gets maple syrup before everyone but hungarians open gifts on the 24th but...
How to unlock a car with a shoelace.
bakerstreetsdoctor: aliciasw0nderland: Tie a noose-like knot with your lace. Slide it through the small opening of the car door. Tighten the lace loop and pull the lock up. Then receive free car. TUMBLR: TEACHING EVERYDAY PEOPLE HOW TO BREAK INTO CARS SINCE 2007 reblogging for future references YES
Text tricks. →
elanorpam: torridgristle: lillianjessica: razzledazzy: the—medium: <sup> makes words go like thiiiiis. <sub> makes them do thiiiiis. <small> makes words go little. The more <small> you have the smaller the word. Same thing applies with <big>. <u> makes underlines. Go here for Ｆｕｌｌ Ｗｉｄｔｈ. ...
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.
tahthetrickster: i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
theslothwhatgoesonadventures: -barry: wearejohnlocked: mareeps: humans are very interesting because no other creature has gone through years of evolution to be this stupid sometimes a sloth’s metabolism can slow down so much it can starve to death with a full stomach sloths often mistake their own arm for a branch and fall to their deaths they also risk their lives climbing down to...
trillow: can’t wait till we stop assigning gender to clothing and everyone starts wearing mage robes instead to increase their magicka
preteenager: its funny how if you go to tumblr.com it leads you to the sign up page and its all pretty with art in the background and the stats and like wowwe doesnt this site look cool but then you click “already a member? sign in” and it leads you to this dark blue depressing page like “you already know how fucking terrible this site is going to be towards your mental health and social life we...
fulllmetal: im not sure if im hungry but im gonna eat anyway just in case
figurants: they call them “goosebumps” because there are little, tiny, microscopic geese living inside of you and when you’re in a cold place they think they have reached the north and they all try to get out
schmorgyborgy: I put my cat in a sweater
CAN WE STOP TO TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD TREES...
tespian-mage: SERIOUSLY TREES WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW THIS FUCKER’S LIVING ON THE EDGE NOW THIS TREE’S FUCKING COLORFUL TREE GO HOME YOU ARE DRUNK NOW THEY’RE IN A KNOT HOW THE FUCK HOLY FUCK TREES STOP
hallloween: I’m crying because I’m eating brownie batter with a spoon that looks like this: and when the batter seeps through the holes it looks like this:
understandablydumb: the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
blondesquats: fuckyeahlaughters: someone shopped the bike out of this .gif and I’m laughing so hard oh my god I am srsly dead
I Ain't Got Time to Read That: Teletubbies (tv... →
quicksummary: A colorful group of aliens with televisions in their tubby tummies (hence the name) are trying to make their way in this strange world with a very thin grasp on human language, though they do have the advantage of owning an anthropomorphic vacuum cleaner. Not entirely sure what the plot is, but…
switchbladetheoneandonly: ponetasmagoria: I am kinda terrified of Justin Bieber if you think about it he has direct command over an army of teenage girls who threaten death without a second thought at the mere mention of another girl’s name imagine what would happen if he actually demanded sacrifice I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS AND NO ONE LISTENS
thegoddamazon: enoljras: quick reminder that you don’t have to be suicidal to be depressed. you don’t have to experience frequent panic attacks to have an anxiety disorder. you don’t have to have an intake of 300 calories to have an eating disorder. you don’t have to repeat all your actions 10 times to have OCD. you don’t have to be the poster child of a mental illness in order to be...
aboutagrohl: moist-grunge: TEAR AND TIER ARE PRONOUNCED THE SAME BUT TEAR AND TEAR ARE PRONOUNCED DIFFERENTLY im glad english is my first language because if i had to learn it as a second language id jump off a bridge
Justin Beiber: Rape happens for a reason.
Media: OMG JUSTIN
Media: YOU ARE THE SWEETEST GUY ALIVE
Media: WHAT AN INSPIRATION
Media: ROLE MODEL TO YOUNG MEN EVERYWHERE
Media: JUSTIN YOU SO PERF
Billie Joe Armstrong: Ladies, if someone touches you and you don't want them to, feel free to punch them in the fucking face.
Media: OH MY GOD HE CURSED ON TV WHAT A DOUCHEBAG
Media: HE DOES DRUGS CLEARLY THE ANTICHRIST
Media: YOU'RE BRAINWASHING CHILDREN GO TO JAIL PLEASE
Media: DO YOU EVEN HAVE A SOUL
Media: LADIES STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE HIM
nepetaleijon: let’s play a game called “how much of this homework can i do in school tomorrow”