Rant
I have been thinking too much. Recent days have been amazing but tough, my thoughts have been everything but composed and above it all, it’s tiring me out and literally making me ill. I’m in a relationship with a girl who I really do love but I’m no longer sure if it’s love as in partners or love as in closest of friends, I have just 10 1/2 weeks left until I say ‘Goodbye’ to Leicester and the last 13 years of my life and all the people I have met and become friends with as well as all the amazing experiences I have had, I have become very close friends with someone else but I have no idea if that is really all I am feeling or not and to top it all off I’m an generally just shitting it about the next few months, really, I am. I’m not gonna lie, my time here has made me who I am today, that isn’t something that you can easily just remove from your life. In 73 days I am going to be moved into an apartment in a city that I have only been to once before, I am not going to know people, places, customs or anything and I will have to fend entirely for myself. I am going to have to become entirely self sufficient otherwise I will not be able to live properly because there wont be people there to sort things out when they go wrong, if that doesn’t make you an adult then nothing will. I know it is going to change me and the thought of that terrifies me some what, who knows what I will be like at the end of my two years and who knows how people will react when they see me again after however many months and I’m not the same person they saw last. I really just don’t know what to do for the majority of my time at the moment. I just don’t know. Only three letters describe this fully………… FML